You are at the top of my lungs
by IThinkIJustGleedMyself
Summary: A/U - He guesses that fate just has a pretty funny way of working.


**Happy new year everyone! First story of 2014 :) Let's hope this year is a lot better.**

**This is unbeta'd, so sorry for any mistakes. I have read over it three times, though some may have evaded me. **

**Enjoy!**

* * *

"Finn!" Kurt announces his presence before he's even walked through the door, struggling beneath rolls of material.

Getting up to help him, Finn looks to his brother curiously. "Yes, Kurt?"

"You're going to love me!" he says happily, "I am the best brother in the world."

"And why is that?" he cocks his head to the side slightly, holding a couple of the rolls under his arm as Kurt places the rest on the floor. First, he straightens out his clothes and hair, before smiling up at Finn.

"I found the perfect girl for your blind date!" Kurt says.

Finn tries to hide the way his expression falters slightly; he may have completely forgot that they were supposed to be setting each other up, in a hope of spicing up both their rather dormant love lives. Crap, now he's gotta find someone for Kurt! Hm, maybe he can persuade Blaine around; he's gay, right? "Oh, that's great," he finally replies, "you're gonna, uh, love the guy that I found for you, too." Kurt smiles, though Finn is quick to move attention away from the date he hasn't exactly found yet, "so this girl, tell me about her..."

He's eager to do so, telling Finn to follow him as he heads to the kitchen to make one of those herbal teas he loves so much. Finn, on the other hand, settles for a beer. "Well, she's called Rachel, I know her from a few plays that I've done costume for, and at first I didn't know if she'd be the best, but opposites attract, right? And she really is wonderful... when you get used to her."

"What's that supposed to mean?" he gives a wry smile, eyes crinkling in the corner.

"She's a little intense at first" - Finn rolls his eyes, of course he'd find the Broadway diva for him - "but really, really nice and caring the longer you know her." When Finn gives him a look, he holds up his hand, "scout's honor."

"You were never a scout," he says, though with little certainty. Kurt could surprise him though; he never knows.

"Au contraire, I have lots of secrets, Finn Hudson."

With a small smile, Finn takes a large gulp of his beer, "so when is this date?"

"Saturday night," he smiles smugly, "and you're very welcome."

"Yeah, yeah, but if this date sucks, you so owe me."

* * *

He shakes his head as she gently recounts her story of Kurt insisting she needs to 'get back into the dating arena and snag up a man', though in all honesty it doesn't surprise him. Kurt suckered him in with the same speech. "Then I realized it _had_ been a while since I'd last been on a date," Rachel says, her eyes dropping down to avoid his own gaze. The soft tone to her voice is hiding something else that he can't quite read, but a part of him is determined to get it out of her, no matter how long that may take. "And besides," she smiles, brown eyes finally meeting his again (he can't help thinking how beautiful they are), "I'm really glad that I came here tonight."

"Me too," he grins. The first few moments of the blind date had been awkward, naturally. They were two strangers who knew practically nothing about each other thrust into a date, but now – two hours in – he's feeling comfortable as ever as he talks to Rachel.

And he's learned a lot about her, too.

Firstly, she's actually quite a name in Broadway – he can't believe Kurt failed to mention that – and she has a _Tony_ award. If he remembers correctly that's like, the really good one. And right now she's actually in a production called _Thoroughly modern Millie. _You know, he's only known her for a few hours, but he still feels super proud.

Secondly, all that stuff Kurt said about her being 'intense' or whatever isn't all that true. Sure, she's passionate, enthusiastic, but in a way that makes him smile and chuckle rather than feel turned off. In fact, he doesn't think there's anything about tonight that's turned him off; that's certainly a first. He watches her now, taking a dainty bite of her dessert, and all he can think is how gorgeous she is.

Now it looks like he owes Kurt for setting up this date. Well, at least he managed to sway Blaine around to a blind date, too, and he has his fingers crossed that the success of tonight is continued for his brother.

Rachel's smile suddenly brightens, and she sips at her wine. "We've spoken a lot about me tonight," she admits, then asks, "what is it that you like? Kurt mentioned that you're quite a musician yourself." Her eyes sparkle with interest at that.

"Well," he gives a half shrug, "I can play drums and guitar, and uh – I guess I'm a decent singer. I mainly just sing in the shower though."

"Ah yeah. I often give performances for one in the shower, too," she chuckles, and Finn doesn't realize how his eyebrow quirks at that. Rachel... in the shower... He quickly shakes his head to rid himself of that thought, and he's thankful that she can't see his crotch right now. "Maybe we could sing together sometime?"

His eyes bulge. "What? In the _shower_?"

"No, silly," Rachel erupts with giggles, though that only slightly distracts him from the pink hue growing on her naturally olive cheeks. "Sometimes my friends and I go to karaoke bars, you're welcome to join us."

Finn hesitates, "I'm not much of a public singer."

She grins, eyes glistening with the excitement of more to come. "Once you're with me, you will be," she assures him, and for a few minutes, he smiles back, believing her.

* * *

They slowly walk up the steps to her apartment building, Finn's hand lingering just at the small of her back. Reaching the door, she twists so that she's facing him, a serene smile on her lips that takes his breath away, and she gently reaches out to caress the soft skin of his arm. As she does this, she stands on her tiptoes, her other hand placed over his shoulder in a barely there touch. She smiles the widest smile he's ever seen. "Thank you for tonight." Her gaze drops briefly, "I haven't had a date that went this well in years, it was really fun."

He internally does a little happy dance, but then tells himself to be smooth on the outside. "So, you wouldn't be opposed to doing it again?" he asks with the hint of a smirk.

Rachel's eyes widen with delight, and then the next thing he knows her lips are on his, hard and somehow soft at the same time. His hands come to rest around her waist gently, holding her in place, while he deliriously enjoys the kiss. He hardly ever kisses on the first date, and the rare times that he has the kisses has never been as easy as this, since he's always second guessing his actions. Rachel is the one who initiated this kiss, and he's only been too happy to reciprocate.

All good things must come to an end, however, and she's soon stood flat on her feet again, staring up at him with a slight blush at her spontaneous actions, but a twinkle in her eye. "I'll take that as there's going to be a second date then," Finn nods, feeling a little light-headed, especially when she giggles and bites her lip. God, it's as though they're a pair of lovesick teenagers. But they're not. He's thirty two and most certainly an adult by now.

"I'd really like that," she agrees, and then appears as though she's trying to contain all the happiness eager to burst from within, hopping slightly on her feet. "I'll call you later tonight."

"Alright – yeah. That's... can't wait," he fumbles, before ending with a large grin instead. She chuckles again, unable to resist stealing one more kiss and then she's heading inside.

Once she's gone, he feels a little silly for the fist pump he does, hurrying home so that he can wait for her call. On the way though, he buys Kurt's favorite cheesecake from this super expensive store 'cause well, his brother can be pretty awesome sometimes, and how else is he going to thank him?

* * *

He's always been told what it's like to be in a 'perfect relationship' but never before experienced it. Now that he's with Rachel, he thinks that he can finally understand that sentiment, because things are just so easy with her, and he tries – of course he does – but he doesn't need to be anyone other than himself to make her happy. That's important, you know? When he dated Quinn, she made him feel like he couldn't do anything right, and any other relationship he's been were because girls seemed to be more interested in his looks that anything else.

And okay, he's not the smartest person in the world, or the most interesting, but there's more to him than his looks and stuff. He's an actual person.

Now, Rachel is different than anyone he's dated, different in the way that she can set his heart racing with barely one glance, or how a simple call from her makes him feel as though he's just won the lottery. If Rachel Berry were a drug, he'd be addicted.

But today when she shows up at his apartment, he can see the way she keeps biting her lower lip, eyes darting around the room every so often. "What's wrong?" he asks her barely five minutes into her arrival.

She sighs then, a sound which reverberates throughout his entire body. That isn't a _good_ sigh. "I haven't been entirely honest with you, Finn," she confesses, voice so unlike Rachel he freezes for a few seconds. When he does regain movement, he sits beside her on the couch, taking hold of her hand despite the worry pulsing through his veins.

"Okay," he says slowly, cautiously.

Rachel pouts a little bit – something that ordinarily he finds cute, but right now he can't seem to smile. She turns to him, eyes locking with his. "Well, I didn't really know how to tell you this... but I think it's important that we know everything about each other, and you'd find out anyway so - "

"Rach," he cuts across softly, "just tell me."

"I have a son," she gets out.

Finn sucks in a breath. "Oh." _Oh_? That's all he has to say? Finn internally kicks himself that that response, especially when Rachel's face drops, as though she'd been expecting it.

The panic is clear in her eyes, "I didn't tell you straight away because the last few dates I've had pretty much dumped me as soon as they found out that I was a single mother. And I'm sick of that happening, Finn, so I... I waited, and I wanted to be sure that you wouldn't be like all those other guys." A whirlwind of words come out of her mouth, while the surprise on his face quickly turns to upset. When she's finished, her head bows, Rachel's shaky fingers moving to brush some hair out of her face.

She has a _kid._

But strangely enough, it doesn't make him panic like he would've expected. Maybe if he were a few years younger, not yet fully matured. He isn't like that any more though, and the news doesn't bother him in the _slightest_. Only spikes his curiosity.

He can't believe he never even noticed, not that she gave him much to go on. Though if she's had bad experiences with guys about it before, he doesn't blame her. His mom used to have the same problem when he was younger, until she met Burt when he was twelve. And now they're happily married. He looks to Rachel, face completely serious.

"I would never do that to you," he says, voice surer than ever. Her head snaps back up; now it's her turn to look surprised. "Honestly. Okay, I'm not going to lie and say that I'm not shocked, but I'm not going to just leave you."

Her pout crumples away into a soft, thankful smile, and then she's diving into his arms. Finn chuckles, stroking her hair as she finds herself nuzzled against his chest. He squeezes her shoulder, and then asks, "so, your son... can you tell me a bit about him?"

She appears taken aback by the question at first; he supposes that if the men she dated weren't all that thrilled to hear about her son, then none were exactly jumping at the chance to find out what he's like, either. But not him. If he wants to be a part of Rachel's life, then he's going to accept everything that comes with her, son and all. Rachel smiles, "well, he's three. He's called James – he's such a smart little boy, and so cute too." He can see the pride glowing on her expression. "I love him more than anything."

"Well, with you as his mom I'm sure he's amazing."

Rachel watches him softly, "you're being... surprisingly okay with this." Her words are so hesitant, and he tightens his hold on her.

"I am," he admits, "I really, truly am. I guess I'm finally a mature adult, huh?"

"You're not just pretending for my sake, right?" she worries.

"Rach, I don't care if you have one kid, or ten kids. I like you, and I want to keep on spending as much time with you as I can." His finger catches the spot under her chin, tilting it ever so slightly so that her brown eyes meet his hazel ones, "as long as you want to keep spending time with me?"

She bites her lip, then nods. "I really like you, Finn. More than I've ever liked anyone before." Visibly sighing of relief, she adds, "and I was so scared about telling you – I don't know what I'd do if you would've reacted like all those other guys."

"But I didn't," he reminds her.

"I know; you're different, Finn," she smiles, a knowing glint in her eyes.

* * *

"Dude, she's just.. the _best_." He gives off a faraway sigh and reclines into his seat, just as Kurt rolls his eyes.

"I know, you've said that about ten times in the past hour."

"But she is." Finn insists. He used to make fun of the guys who always went on about their girlfriends, the guys who were completely "whipped" but somewhere between meeting Rachel and now, he's become that boyfriend, and it's not as bad as he used to make it out to be. Honestly, it's actually pretty awesome. Rachel is probably one of the best things to ever happen to him, so who can blame the man for wanting to announce that from time to time? She certainly appreciates the confession, always giving him a watery smile and a sweet kiss.

Kurt only rolls his eyes, "between the two of you, I'm getting the biggest headache known to man."

He cocks his head to the side, "what?"

"You and Rachel. You are so disgustingly enamoured with each other, and it's all I hear about these days." He pulls a face, "don't get me wrong, I love the both of you, but I really don't need to hear fifty reasons why your dimples are so adorable, or why you love her eyes so much." Finn gives a dopey, lovesick smile that only makes Kurt mutter, "the two of you are nauseating" under his breath.

Finn doesn't care. All he cares about is that his feelings seem to be mutual, and there's nothing better than that.

* * *

He smiles and cheers as Rachel bounds off the stage after a little bow, bouncing over to him. Slightly drunk, she clings to his side and practically melts into it, while her friends Tina and Mike congratulate her on the performance.

He's still in awe really.

Sure, she hums to herself sometimes when they're on dates, and her voice is soft and pretty, but up there on the stage, she sang like her life depended on it, completely owning the entire audience in the palm of her hand, including him. He knows that she's a Broadway star and really, he should have been expecting something amazing, but that was just _wow_.

Rachel reaches forward for her vodka and coke, taking a large gulp, before turning up to him with a grin that the cheshire cat would envy. "Come and sing with me, Finny."

"Aw, I don't know. I don't think I'll be anywhere near as good as you are."

She stares at his through hooded eyes, a smirk on her lips. "I know you want to." She pulls away from him, tugging at his shirt, "please."

"You're drunk," he tells her, poking the end of her nose. He hopes that she'll be distracted by that, but no such luck. When she wants a duet partner, she _wants_ a duet partner. Tina grins at him, "she won't stop, you know. Rachel Berry gets what she wants."

"That's what I was afraid you'd say," he chuckles, and Rachel drops her head against his shoulder again. Twisting against him, she looks up with the biggest pout, perfecting the sad puppy dog look.

"Finny, come on." She continues to plead, "Kurt says you're a really good singer." Damn his brother!

"Rach..." He starts, though his defences are quickly failing. One glance at her expression and caving seems so tempting.

"One song," she insists, stopping to lightly burp, "that's all I ask of you." She gently kisses away the frown on his face, Finn unable to not smile toward her.

Eventually, he sighs and says, "fine. I'll sing with you. _One_ song though – I get to pick it, too!"

She squeals with happiness, almost falling out of her seat. He decides there and then that making her happy is the best feeling in the world.

* * *

He knocks the door a couple of times, having to wait a little longer than normal for her to open it. When she does, he can instantly see how flustered she is, hair a frazzled mess, sticking up this way and that, while her cheeks are a permanent pink. "Rach?" he inquires with worry in his tone, stepping inside without an invitation. His hands find her waist, leading her over to the couch, only for it to be occupied.

"Momma," the young boy mumbles from beneath the mass of blankets over him, his face covered in blotches of white cream. He whimpers then, hazel eyes rising to meet Finn with a look of curiosity.

She visibly softens at the sight of him, lowering herself onto the couch and then sweeping him into her arms. Pressing a kiss to his sticky forehead, she gently rocks him in her arms. "It's okay, baby. You're fine."

"Don't feel good."

"I know," she nods, "just a few more days and you'll be better. You've just gotta relax and get some rest." While he throw back his head in a sigh, she returns him to the couch, tucking the blankets around him, but not before an apologetic look is thrown in Finn's direction. Standing again, she ushers him into the kitchen, folding her arms across her chest, "I'm so sorry, baby, but I can't go out tonight. As you can see, he's really sick and my sitter can't come because she's never had the chicken pox before – I couldn't get anyone else on such short notice either."

Her words come out a rambled mess, and he gently shushes her. "It's fine, I'm not mad or anything, just kind of disappointed."

"I'm really sorry," she sighs, "I was going to call you to say, but then I kept getting distracted, and my brain isn't working at all! He was up all last night." Finn takes his slightly frazzled girlfriend in his arms, placing a soft, lingering kiss to her warm forehead.

"Babe, just take a deep breath." She does so, leaning against him. Rachel's dark eyes rise to meet his caring expression, lips twitching with a smile. He watches as the tension visibly leaves her body, and then he says in a barely there whisper, "I can stay if you need any help. No offence, but you look exhausted."

Her mouth pulls into a thin line at that comment, eyebrows tight.

"I'll make you dinner," he whispers in her ear, adding, "both of you."

"You don't have to do that."

"But I want to." His fingers clasp firmly around her own, "and maybe this way I can meet James, for real. If you're okay with that – we've been together a while now, so it just feels right, you know?"

Her eyes drift to the living room, "he's really sick though..."

"I won't rush him into anything. We can just have a relaxed afternoon, and you can focus on taking care of him, while _I_," he kisses her hairline, "can focus on taking care of you."

All protests fall short on her lips, and she curls into his embrace. "Okay." She gives a content sigh, and then shifts in his arms. "Right then, let's go introduce your properly." With no time for a response, he's being pulled into the living room and to the moaning boy. James calls out for Rachel again, but his eyes follow Finn.

"James," she nuzzles him against her, arms wrapped around her tall boy – he obviously _hasn't_ inherited Rachel's height. "Do you remember how mommy told you she was dating someone?" He nods. Rachel gives a sweet smile, gesturing over to Finn, "well, this is the man that I've been dating. His name is Finn, and he's very excited to meet you." She pauses, giving him a minute to register the information, "I know you're not feeling well, but do you wanna say hi?"

He looks unsure at first, but then Finn moves closer, crouching down on his knees. "Hey little guy," he breathes out, "your mom has told me so much about you. I'm Finn." He holds out his hand for him, smiling even more than he already is when James places his much smaller hand against his palm. Finn grins, curling his fingers around the small hand to shake it.

"Hi Finn," he says shyly, then twists his neck so he's looking up at Rachel again. She smiles lovingly toward him and shifts him on her hip.

"Finn's gonna make us some dinner, what do you want?" He shrugs tiredly, rubbing his nose against her shoulder, eyes closing. Finn looks on with sympathy for the boy; he'd had chicken pox when he was sixteen and had been bedridden for practically the entire week. Rachel combs her fingers through his thick hair, "how about some chicken soup? Hmm? I bet that'll make you feel better."

"I can do that," Finn interjects, "my mom has the best recipe for it."

She smiles, "what do you think, baby?"

"Okay momma," he says a little miserably, making it clear why when he reaches up to scratch his arm, only to chastised by Rachel. James only grumbles at that, trying to sink further into his blankets, while Finn rises to his feet and heads to the kitchen with Rachel on his heels. She shows him where everything is, then gently takes hold of his hand.

"He'll warm up to you," she insists, "he's really shy. We're trying to work on that."

"It's fine," Finn smiles as she leans against his chest, "I didn't expect him to be totally cool with me straight away. I'm the guy that he has to share his amazing mom with."

Rachel blushes slightly, then detaches her arms from around his side, "I'm going to go and check on him. Are you sure you're okay with cooking? I mean, we were supposed to be on a date and now it's kind of ruined an -" Finn silences her with a kiss, then pushes her lightly in the direction of the living room, not before a happy smile is thrown over her shoulder.

When he finds them both fast asleep not long after, it's his turn to smile as he tucks the blanket over Rachel as well.

* * *

The second time he meets James, it's almost like he's a different kid. Rachel invites him into the apartment, rambling about the babysitter running late and they'll just have to wait a few more minutes, when a little ball of energy runs into the room. James jumps onto the couch, imitating lasers being shot as he plays with two action figures. Rachel returns from the bathroom, primping up her hair, and sets on serious look on him which has him climbing off the furniture sheepishly.

He then settles for running around it, only to stop when Finn just happens to be in his way. "Hey Finn," he chirps.

"Hi Buddy, you're lookin' a lot better."

James looks him up at down, eyes as wide as saucers, "you're really tall."

Finn lets out a short laugh, "I guess I am. You're kinda tall, too. You know, considering that you're only three and your mom... well, _isn't_."

"I'm not that small," she huffs, moving to stand beside him. If anything, being next to Finn only highlights her shortness, and James grins at her.

"Momma, will I be big like Finn?"

"I dunno, let's see." She has him in her arms in a matter of seconds, and then he crawls up even further so that he matches the man's height. "There you go, you're just as tall as him. Maybe even _taller_."

"Never thought I'd find someone taller than me," Finn jokes, "but you did it, kid." The squirmy little thing he is, he manages to twist himself in Rachel's arms and reaches out for Finn, who looks hesitantly toward Rachel for a moment. She seems happy to let him out of her embrace and instead into Finn's. He holds him firmly against his chest, getting used to the feeling, before happiness washes over him, especially when James starts talking to him about his action figures as though they've known each other for years. Out of the corner of his eyes, he catches Rachel's glistening eyes and bright smile.

As the babysitter finally arrives, he watches as Rachel kisses his face and tells him to be good, that she'll miss him. Is it weird that he'll miss him a little bit, too?

* * *

He feels exhaustion tugging at his muscles; it's an effort to lift his arm in order to unlock his door, but he manages it. Groaning, Finn steps into the apartment and stretches the knots from his shoulders. A sixteen hour shift and all he wants is to curl up on the couch with a beer and watch some football. But the minute he enters the apartment, he's walks into a wall of the most delicious smell, and his mouth waters in an instant.

"Kurt?" he calls out, confusion swimming in his eyes; Kurt isn't supposed to be home yet and he's been so busy with _Vogue_ lately that they've been living solely on take-out. Breathing in the sweet aroma, Finn lets his feet carry him to the kitchen.

Before he can even enter the kitchen, Rachel bounds out of the doorway in nothing but a pair of shorts (outrageously short, might he add) and this teeny tank top that makes his mouth water for a whole other reason. "Hey baby!" she throws her arms around him, littering his lips with kisses.

In an instant, his face is brighter than ever. "What're you doing here?" he holds her tighter, "not that this is bad. I mean, this is most definitely a good thing." His eyes dip downwards once more.

"Well,James is staying over at my dads tonight, so I thought I'd surprise you and make dinner," she beams, "and I may have also bribed Kurt to stay out for the night."

"You," he purrs out the word, "are perfect."

"And don't you forget it mister!" she taps the end of his nose, trying to twist in an fruitless effort to evade his grip. He only holds her more tightly to his chest, and his nimble lips begin to explore the back of her neck. "Finn," she whines, "I'm cooking, and I can't leave it... what if it sets on fire?" Still, she leans bonelessly against him, neck stretched to allow him more access.

"I'm trying to set _you_ on fire," he grins against her ear, fingers wondering down to her breast, while a gasp barely follows from Rachel.

When she does finally manage to pry herself away, the sauce is a gooey mess at the bottom of the pan and the pasta is overcooked. She sends him one look, eyebrow shot in the air, while he puts his hands up in mock surrender. He laughs at her pout, trying to kiss it away sweetly. "You want Chinese food or Indian food?" he chuckles, reaching for the take out menus from the drawer.

* * *

"He's out like a light," she says with a soft smile as she leaves James' bedroom. "I think he liked playing soccer with you today."

"Yeah, he's pretty great," he agrees.

She pauses, "you really think so?" He can see the trepidation in his eyes, and perhaps she's wondering if he's just saying that to placate her, but he's not, not at all. It's strange to think that he feels such... paternal emotions toward a boy that's only been in his life for just under two months now, a boy that isn't even his. And he's not going to admit that to Rachel just yet – instead, he'll enjoy the way James always greets him so enthusiastically, how he always wants to talk to him when he's there, and how when he isn't, Rachel constantly reminds him that, "he loves you, you know," with that '_I'm so lucky I have you_' smile, and it makes him feel all fuzzy in a way he thought only people in movies could.

"'Course," Finn wraps him arm securely around her, "I love spending time with the both of you." His smile grows as she sweetly kisses his cheek, and curls further into his side.

"I think he likes having your attention. I mean, he's never really had a father figure before."

He slowly breathes out, heart pulsing.

_Father figure._

As his gaze drops down, he finds her leaning against him, her face a picture of contentment. "Can I ask you a question?" he says, "it's okay if you don't want to answer – it's pretty personal."

"What is it?" He can hear the way her voice trembles slightly with worry.

"How come you're not with James' father?"

The question causes her to give pause, eyes dropping to the floor, and for a moment his heart seizes in panic when he thinks it might be a painful story. Rachel sighs then, hands wringing together. "I'm not with him because... I don't know him."

His face scrunches up in confusion. "So like, it was a one night stand?"

"No, no," she shifts away from him slightly, Finn instantly missing the warmth of her body. "It's a little more... unconventional than that." Her expression falters, "I really wanted a baby, more than anything. I was twenty nine, and I had two Tony's, a nice apartment in New York, and an amazing support system, just... no boyfriend. Not even close, actually." She slowly lifts her gaze to watch for his reaction, which is more of curiosity than anything else. "So I just though, why not do it myself? I didn't want to wait to find 'the one' and deep down I knew that I could do it, it was something that I've wanted ever since I was young myself."

"Wait, how do you have a baby by yourself?" he frowns.

"Finn," she finally smiles, "I needed... a little help obviously, so... so – you know those sperm banks?" She bites her lower lip, waiting for his reaction.

"Yeah, I've, um, _donated_ to one before," he blushes a little, then quickly changes the subject back to Rachel, "you used a sperm donor then?"

She nods, "I just picked my favorite from all the profiles and then they used that sperm to fertilize the egg and nine months later, I had James."

"Just as simple as that."

"Exactly," she smiles.

"Do you ever wish that, you know, you could've done it the conventional way?" He cringes at his own question, but she only lets out a small series of giggles at his pink cheeks.

"Well, I guess sometimes I do. But then again, this way I get him all to myself and I know that's really selfish, but he's my little baby."

"That's not selfish," he tells her, "every parent must feel like that."

"I just love him so much," she admits.

He surprises her with another question, "do you ever think you'll have more kids?" She opens and closes her mouth a couple of times, not able to find the right response. He then adds, "if you found the right guy, I mean. Would you?" Her dark eyes widen with realization then, lips almost smirking.

"Hmmm, I suppose so. I never really liked being an only child, so I want James to have a little brother or sister. _If_ I find the right man, of course," she grins, dark eyes observing him beneath her thick lashes. Leaning forward, she presses a sweet kiss to his cheek, eyes closed and lips lingering. He twists his neck slightly, so their lips graze instead, and she smiles into the kiss.

* * *

"Will you two stop it?"

"Stop what?" Rachel asks absent-mindedly, as her attention is focused on Finn. Equally, his is solely on hers. This leaves Kurt sat between them, trying to stomach his cheesecake while Finn and Rachel commence a session 'eye sex' as he'd called it, complete with the occasional graze of her hand on his inner thigh, or his against her hip.

Kurt rolls his eyes, "stop undressing each other with your eyes. It's disturbing."

"We are not doing anything like that!" she gasps, earning an '_are you serious?_' face from Kurt.

"If I would have known that you two would have been _that_ couple, I would have never agreed to lunch," he groans, but Finn knows it's nothing personal, it's just the fact that Kurt's _almost_ boyfriend Blaine (only almost because "they're taking it slow and aren't officially a couple") and him had an argument and are currently not talking.

"What do you mean by that?" he nudges Kurt's side. He loves his brother, but sometimes he can be real uptight.

"The couple that can't go two minutes without making googly eyes at each other," he raises a brow as that's exactly what they appear to be doing, "seriously, your levels of PDA are off the charts."

"Can I help it if I have the most amazing girlfriend and I want everyone to see that?" He grins, as Rachel proudly leans into him.

With a soft sigh, Kurt says, "No, but you could help sticking your tongue down her throat while I was try to eat." He sends them a pointed look, and only earns sheepish ones in return. His phone buzzes in his hand, "excuse me." When he's left the table, Finn immediately hears Rachel's giggles.

"Are we really that couple?"

"Sources say so," he grins, swooping down to kiss her, "but I don't have any problems with it." He finishes with another kiss, only pulling back when he leaves a breathless Rachel.

Pupils blown, she shakes her head. "No, no problems here either."

* * *

"Finn, Finn!" James reaches for his hand, pulling him onto his feet, "you help me."

The woman on the lane beside them only giggles at the pair, watching as Finn is dragged to the bowling balls, helping James pick up the smallest one. "No, blue one. Like you." James insists. When his little fingers clutch at the holes, he groans under its weight.

"Hey buddy, that's way too heavy for you." The way that James pouts is a spitting image of Rachel's, and Finn instantly grins at the sight of it, but still urges the boy to use the lightest ball. He gently leads him over to the lane, sighing when he refuses to use the rail to help him. Still, he continues to show him the correct technique, grinning at the way he sticks his tongue out in concentration.

And finally, when he throw the ball, he does it with so much force that he tumbles forward himself, landing flat on his front. "James!" he cries out, instantly lifting him onto his feet and checking to make sure that he's okay. But the three year old couldn't care less as he suddenly bounces in Finn's arms. "Look Finn, look!"

Twisting on his knees, he sees that he's only managed to knock down one pin, but the pure look of pride on the little boy's face makes it seem as though he'd got them all. "That's so awesome," he encourages, "gimme a high five." Finn's face is bright, proud, as James does so, and then he sweeps him up into his arms to where Rachel's returning with their drinks.

"Momma!" James grins, "I got a strike!"

"Not quite a strike," Finn chuckles, "but almost."

His face drops, looking back to where the pins are being replaced, "not a strike?"

"Next time, bud," Finn pats him on the back, before handing him back to Rachel, "he had a bit of a fall, but he seems fine."

"Oh no!" she frowns, checking him over herself, but he's soon wiggling to be out of her grasp, wanting to go again. He laughs at the eagerness of the small boy, especially when it seems as though he's trying to impress him. It's flattering, honestly; he's never had someone look up to him and aspire to be like him before, and it's a real boost to his ego and confidence that not only does James feel like that, but Rachel is happy for him to follow Finn's example.

With a bright smile, he slips his arm around Rachel, "your turn, baby."

"I don't know how I can possibly follow after that performance," she announces dramatically, grinning at James. Finn watches as she picks up her son, and twirls him around playfully, earning a fit of high giggles. The sight makes his heart swell with love.

* * *

He blinks sleepily as he wakes, becoming more aware of his surroundings, which certainly _isn't_ his bedroom. Then some he shifts in the soft bed, feeling a dead weight over his bare chest. Peering closely, he sees it's an arm, and when he follows it with his eyes, he finds Rachel at the end of it, face hidden behind her tangled thick hair. She's literally sprawled out across the bed, chest slowly rising up and down, giving him a great view of her breasts.

Finn groans slightly at his sudden arousal, but hey it's early and Rachel's gorgeous. Who can blame him? He scoots closer to her, leaning down so he can cover her skin in kisses, breathing in her sweet smelling perfume from last night. Hands taking purchase on her hips, he lowers his mouth to her collarbone, sucking on the soft skin. Finn alternates between that and nipping at the skin, until he hears low whimpers from the girl below him.

A hand reaches up, sweeping through his hair, and her head follows, Rachel's eyes dripping with arousal. "I'm surprised you still have energy after last night," she says, gaze drifting downwards to his crotch.

"It's your fault," he breathes against her skin, causing her to visibly shiver, especially when his spare hand moves up to tweak her nipple between his calloused fingers. Mouth hanging open, her hands reach to pull him atop of her, his hardness pressing her sex, still slippery from the previous night. They share a groan at the feeling, until he covers her mouth with his, tongue diving inside. Rachel's grinds herself against him to get some more of the much needed friction, her hands sliding down his back before they settle just above his ass.

Breaking the kiss, she looks into his eyes with her own dark ones, "Finn, I need you." Her voice is a barely there whimper, quivering as his lips attach to her neck once again. At the feel of him sucking her sensitive spot, her bones turn to jelly and her eyes close slowly. "Finn," she whines again with whatever energy she has left.

But he isn't finished with teasing. He drags his lips down her body at a painfully slow pace, taking time to worship and kiss every inch of her skin. When he finds himself in front of her spread legs, he licks his lips at how wet she is, glistening for him. He lowers himself so that his hot breath sweeps over her sensitive clit, and she's crying out his name, begging for him to do _something_.

And then he does. His hand reach under her to take hold of her hip tightly, keeping her in place as he laps at her wetness. She moans louder than ever before when his tongue dips inside of her, oh so slowly, curling, grazing against her walls. And then he's sucking on her clit, taking her further and further into bliss.

Just as she's about to come, he tears his mouth away from her, earning a mouthful of protests from the girl. But then he's slipping his throbbing dick inside of her, letting out a moan of relief at the feeling of being inside Rachel. This is followed by ragged breaths against her neck, he begins to thrust as deeply as possible into her, pushing, pushing, and groaning at the delicious feeling of her tightness.

Rachel pants every time he's filling her to the hilt, his body pinning her to the bed. They're on the cusp of orgasm when her bedroom door opens, a little voice calling out, "momma." At that, they fly apart, Rachel grabbing for her dressing gown while he buries himself – and his bright red face – in the blankets. She flattens down her messy hair, climbing out of bed and over to James, "what's wrong, baby?"

"Want my breakfast," he says, giving her puppy dog eyes.

"Okay," she sighs softly, then casts a glance over to Finn who is desperately trying to keep his deflating hard on hidden from the three year old. "How about pancakes?" Rachel asks to the both of them.

"Yes!" comes their equally eager reply.

Telling James to go to the kitchen, she hurries to where he's clutching the sheet against him, kissing him gently. "Finn, I'm so sorry."

"Don't be," he shakes his head, "it's not your fault."

She sighs, "I know, but I feel bad. I'm still so... worked up." She lowers her voice at the end, but another call from James has her heading for the kitchen again. "Coming!" she shouts.

"You would be if we hadn't been interrupted," he mutters, causing Rachel to chuckle under her breath.

Ten minutes later and he's dressed in reasonable attire, sat at the dining table with Rachel and James. "Great pancakes, Rach," he tells her as he practically inhales them, James pretty much doing the same.

"I want more, momma, please," he eats his last strawberry, holding out his plate.

"Finn ate the last of then, hon," she tells him, watching his face flood with disappointment, "and you've already had _three_."

"But I'm hungry," he says emphatically.

Between bites, Finn lets out a loud laugh, "this kid had his priorities right." She only shakes her head at the two, unable to hide her small smile. Finn smiles too, feeling completely at home with this little family.

* * *

He jumps up as soon as he hears the doorbell go, shouting out, "I'll get it!" before anyone else beats him to it. His mom gives him a small smile at his antics, then returns to her conversation with Kurt. Finn straightens out his tie before opening the door, finding Rachel and James on the other side. The boy looks annoyed to be wearing a neat plaid shirt, his thick mess of hair combed neatly, and Finn gently rubs his shoulder, "it's okay, bud. I had to wear a shirt, too."

"You look very handsome," Rachel points out, standing on her tiptoes to greet him with a kiss; she takes the opportunity to glance over his shoulder to where his mom and Burt are, the worry clear on her face.

"And you look beautiful," he tells her, whispering in her ear, "calm down, my mom will love you."

She nervously bites her lip and steps inside, clinging to James' hand so hard that Finn has to pry it away from the poor boy and instead endure her vice like grip. He clears his throat as they reach the middle of the room, "mom, Burt, I'd like you to meet Rachel and her son, James." As his mom nears, he squeezes Rachel's hand in one last reassurance.

"So nice to finally meet you," Carole smiles, "you're all Finn ever talks about." While Burt shakes her hand, Carole goes in for the full hug, "and of course, he's told us all about how much he adores your so -" Her smile freezes when her eyes land upon James, now seeing him up close, and Finn notes how she stares at him in complete shock. Under her gaze, James shifts a little uncomfortably and leans into Rachel.

"Mom," Finn starts slowly, a inquiring tone to his voice.

"Nothing," she says quickly, averting her gaze elsewhere, and Finn finds Rachel looking worriedly in his direction. He just shakes his head, insisting that nothing is wrong, but inside he finds his curiosity hungry to find out what the hell that was. His mom was staring at the boy as though she'd seen a ghost.

Thankfully, Kurt announces that dinner is ready and the awkwardness seems to dissipate a little, with Kurt and Rachel keeping the conversation going at the table. But his mom is so intent on James that it freaks him out a little. And like, he knows that she wants grand kids and all that stuff, but this is taking that desire to a whole other level.

While she's helping Burt put away the dishes, he finally sees his chance to talk to her and slowly heads toward the kitchen when he hears their hushes voices. "Carole, it's nothing," Burt assures her.

"But what if -"

"No what ifs," he says, "I don't know why you think this, but it's not be true."

"I swear, Burt. That boy is the spitting image of my Finn when he was that age." Finn freezes when he hears that, forehead scrunching together in confusion. Is she implying that...? He frowns deeply, before stepping into the kitchen. As soon as he's seen, the pair fall into silence.

"You need any help?" he asks, trying to ignore the way his mom is staring at him.

Burt moves his eyes from Finn to Carole, and then back again. "You can take over my job. I need to go to the bathroom anyway." Finn nods, continuing to fill the dishwasher where Burt had left off, his hands almost shaky. The silence is suffocating, something that he's not used to when being with his _mom,_ but her earlier words spin around his mind.

Finally, it becomes to much for him, and he has to break it. "So," he starts, pulling his mom from her thoughts, "what do you think of Rachel?"

She smiles now. "I think she's really good for you, Finn. She's wonderful."

At that, he feels happiness radiating off of him. "And, uh, James?" His face breaks into a grin despite himself, "isn't he great?"

"He's a lovely little boy," she falters, her face becoming suddenly grave. When he looks to her in question, she sighs, "Finn, how long have you known Rachel?"

"About six months now."

By her expression, that clearly isn't the answer that she's expecting. "And, you're sure you've never met her before?"

He gives her a half smile, chuckling slightly as he says, "pretty sure, mom." He knows what she wants to say, what she's holding back. "I don't think I could forget someone like Rachel." She smiles softly at that admission, but the smile doesn't completely meet her eyes. It fall silent for a few moments, and then;

"Mom, is there something you want to tell me?"

She tenses, and moments later shakes her head quickly. "Nothing sweetie." Her eyes remain solely on the plate in her hands, then she plasters a fake smile onto her face. Finn hesitates before nodding, while her previous words remain heavy on his mind. When they make their way back into the living room, his eyes immediately land on James, watching as he shyly moulds into Rachel's side. _What if?_ He thinks, letting his thoughts wander only briefly before Rachel interrupts him.

* * *

Rachel opens the door for them, shrugging off her jacket and shoes as Finn carries the passed out boy in his arms. With a loving smile toward the pair, she gently brushes James' hair from his face and then reaches for him. "It's okay," Finn assures her, "I'll put him in bed." She gives a thankful, tired smile, and mumbles something about getting him some pajamas as Finn carries him to the second bedroom.

He pushes the rail down for the toddler bed, sitting himself down and laughing at the way James sprawls over the cowboy sheets. Feeling a hand on his shoulder, he jumps slightly, though grows sheepish when he realizes it's only Rachel. He'd been so engrossed in watching James that he hadn't noticed her rummaging through the drawers. She chuckles lightly, sitting on the other side of James and starting to undress him.

Finn helps, pulling off his sneakers as she unbuttons his shirt. He doesn't stir until they're slipping him into the pajamas, letting out small whimpers at being disturbed. Rachel only shushes him, lifting the boy into her arms before lifting him up, "come on sweetie, you've gotta go potty before bed."

Too tired to protest, he just nods and leans his face against her neck. When they return, Rachel slipping him under the covers, Finn tucks him in completely, smiling at the way he fights sleep despite being exhausted. He did the same thing as a kid, too. But then Rachel's humming a soft tune to him, and he can't help but succumb to slumber at the beautiful sound, the couple waiting just a few moments to make sure he's completely asleep. She kisses his forehead, Finn following suit, before they slip out of the room.

"It was really nice meeting your mom today," she smiles, straightening up his shirt, "it's no wonder you turned out to be such a gentleman."

At the reminder of his mom – and what he'd overheard – a strange feeling washes over him. He forces out a smile at Rachel, "she really likes you. I told you that you didn't need to worry."

"It's in my nature," she says, and then softly adds, "do you want to stay the night?"

He wants to, he really, really does, but there's something bugging him right now and he needs to placate that nagging feeling. "Not tonight babe. Early start tomorrow."

She looks disappointed, but nods anyway. After a lingering goodbye kiss, he shrugs his jacket back on and heads the few blocks back to his apartment, surprised to find it empty. Kurt must still be dropping Burt and Carole off at the airport. Still, the alone time gives him much needed privacy as he digs into his closest, pulling out the old photos he has. Spreading the albums out over his bed, he finds the one which have the closest age to James, nervously opening the first page.

At the sight of the pictures, he sucks in a breath.

His mom is right – James is a spitting image of him, scarily so. The boy has Rachel's hair, and no dimples, but everything else is almost like a replica. How has he not noticed this? His mom knew the instant she saw him, and he's known him for months, but never put two and two together.

Body numb, his tries to figure out why, _why_ he looks so much like him. He's never met Rachel before the date Kurt set up, so he knows that he can't be his father. But the similarities are _too_ strong; it can't be coincidence. No, it's got to be something else.

"Oh god," he says aloud when it all clicks into place. The story about James' conception, the sperm bank, Rachel not even knowing who the father is. What if it's the same sperm bank that he donated to all those years ago, and it was his sperm that Rachel chose?

And if so, that would make him James' father.

Possibly, maybe. But then he stares at the pictures and thinks _definitely_.

Finn rubs his sore head; what the hell is he going to do?

* * *

He can't stop thinking about it

Yet... things like this just don't happen. It's too much of a coincidence, too much chance involved, and still, it could have happened. There may be forces beyond coincidence playing in this. It could be, dare he say it, fate. Finn pressing his finger to his lips pensively, unable to wrap his head around the situation that he could very possibly find himself in. _If_ he is James' father, then what? Does he tell Rachel? Does he keep it a secret? More importantly – _could_ he keep it a secret? Deep down, the very though makes him uneasy, almost nauseous; he didn't grow up without a father, and what would that make him him if imposed the same fate onto his own son, knowing fully well of his parentage?

Still, this wasn't supposed to happen. When he'd donated, he hadn't thought anything of it – more, 'I'm doing the right thing and helping people who can't have kids' or people like Rachel. He hadn't realized that the sperm he'd donated would get used and grow up into an actual living, breathing person who may very well be the son of his girlfriend. Like, at no point when he donated did he ever think he'd actually _meet_ any kid that came out of this.

He lets out a long sigh, though it does nothing to relieve his body of all the anxiety over the whole situation. He doesn't know for sure, and maybe he could contact the sperm bank and see if any has actually used his... uh, _goods_. If not, cool. That's fine. But if so, then he has a kid. And that could very well be James.

* * *

"What's with the long face?" Kurt asks as Finn joins him on the couch, throwing his head back and trying to rub the ache out of it.

Finn's mouth pulls downwards in a frown, eyes closing, "just something mom said the other day. Made me think."

His eyes glisten curiously, "think about what?"

With a slightly strained expression, he turns completely to face Kurt, and just takes the plunge. He's going to find out sooner or later, anyway. "Do you think James looks like me?"

"James as in Rachel's son?" he tilts his head curiously, while Finn only nods, swallowing the thick lump in his throat. "Well, I guess he does, actually." He speaks slowly, "you have the same sort of half smile, and the same hair eyes." Kurt then gives out a short laugh, "the kid even has your appetite – did you and Rachel have a one night stand three years ago that I never knew about?" It causes him to wince, despite how it's only a joke, because it only makes the situation more real.

"No," he breathes out, "Kurt, I – I think that I might be his dad."

"Wait, _what_?"

Finn shakes his head uselessly, "mom mentioned something about it to me, and then the more I thought about it, the more I realized how alike we are. Then I found some pictures of me as a kid..." He frowns deeply, his sentence trailing off. "Rach told me that she used a sperm donor to conceive him. _I'm_ a sperm donor, Kurt."

His brother grips at his shoulders, stopping him from bursting out of his seat. "Calm down. Look, out of all the thousands of guys out there who've donated to this, um, particular cause, it's very unlikely that it's you who -"

"But what if it is?" he cuts across, "you've seen him for yourself, you _just_ said that he looks like me."

"Lots of people look like each other, Finn!"

"My mom says that he's a spitting image of me."

Kurt suddenly looks thoughtful, teeth tugging at his lower lip, though his shoulders lower. "You really think he's your son?"

"I don't know!" he cries out, "but if he is..."

"If he is your son, you can't just demand anything of Rachel," Kurt finished.

"Excuse me?"

"You're the sperm donor, you don't have any parental right over him – he's all Rachel's."

It feels like a punch to the gut. He frowns, and lets a sigh tear past his lips, "I know that, but -"

Holding up a hand to silence him, Kurt says, "no buts. You could very well be the father, but it's Rachel's decision on whether or not you get to be his dad, and you have to respect that."

"But she wouldn't... stop me from seeing him – Rachel isn't like that..." Finn suddenly finds himself unsure, remembering how she'd told him she's glad she gets the boy all to herself, and now because of this revelation he could very well be about to shatter that for her. For a brief moment, he doesn't want to tell her, but he has to. Not only for himself, but for James. Otherwise he'll spend the rest of his life wondering, right? Not right now, but in the future when he's older and has more time to dwell on things like that.

Wouldn't it be best for everyone to know?

His stomach twists in knots as he considers Rachel's reaction, that she might not want him involved like that. Yet he's grown so attached to James over the past few months, almost like a father. Surely it wouldn't make that much of a different to their dynamic.

"It's her decision," Kurt insists, then adds gently, "but for the record I don't think Rachel would stop you from seeing him. She loves you, Finn. And she loves James as well. She'll do what she thinks is the best for you all."

He only nods dumbly, having no idea what to say. The situation feels more real now, set in stone. He could be a father, only he's got to tell the mother. That sounds pretty crazy, right? He shakes his head – everything about this is crazy.

* * *

He feels kind of sick as he sits in his apartment. He's been here with Rachel so many times before, but not with possibly life-changing news to bear, news that he's still unsure of how she's going to react to. But he's almost sure that he's James' father, and it's crazy to say that, to think that he's got a three year old son, with someone that he met only that year too. He'd called the sperm bank though, to see if anyone had used his 'donation', and Finn was hardly shocked to hear that one person had, that one person who he is pretty sure is his girlfriend.

She returns from the kitchen with a couple of drinks, smiling brightly at him. All he can manage is response is a pretty meagre attempt, and he clenches his clammy hands together when their eyes meet. Rachel isn't stupid; it barely takes her a few seconds to notice the nerves practically radiating from the man. "What's wrong?" she asks.

Finn gulps, finding his voice, albeit it's a little tiny. "You might wanna sit down. I kind of have something to tell you, and I don't know if you're going to like it or not so... yeah, sit down."

"Are you breaking up with me?" she jokes, though he sees the worry swimming in her deep brown eyes.

"Of course not, I just... we need to talk."

Cocking her head to the side slightly in confusion, she follows his orders and sits on the plush couch, hands folding neatly over her black skirt. Finn freezes, lost in thought. How exactly is he supposed to tell her, especially when he's not entirely sure himself? But no, this is... what his mom said _couldn't_ have just been coincidental. And he'd even looked himself, at the old pictures that he and Kurt had lying around. It's crazy how similar they look, and if he is right, he doesn't think he can let an opportunity like this pass. What kind of man would that make him if he did?

He heaves out a sigh, eyes watching every change in her expression, while worry bubbles away deep inside. "So, I'm not really sure how to tell you this, and it's kind of crazy and you might not even believe me, but I just... it's _possible_." His tongue twists around the words, each one nervously rambled out as she only stares.

"Finn, just tell me," she asks of him, "you're starting to freak me out."

He stares into her eyes, the eyes of the woman that he loves, and he prays that this isn't going to go monumentally wrong. "Well... you know how you used a sperm bank in order to conceive James?"

She nods slowly, suddenly more panicked as this seems to involve her son.

Finn clears his throat, "and I already told you that I've donated to ones a few times not that many years ago." He pauses, eyes on the fabric of the couch, "I didn't think anything of it, but my mom, she says that James looks like me and -"

"Finn," she cuts him off nervously, "what are you... are you suggesting what I think you're suggesting?" The unsure tone to his voice just adds another bundle of nerves to the ones he's already got. He nods meekly. "No, but you..." Her forehead creases, eyes completely shocked, "you can't be his father Finn. That's ludicrous."

He can see that she's in the state of denial he experienced at first, and he reaches for her hand, only for Rachel to snatch it away. "Rach," he starts slowly.

"No, you're not." Her voice is unbelievably shrill. "I -" She cuts herself short; it's the first time he's ever seen her at a loss for words.

"I could be," he tries, "I just... what if I am, Rachel?"

"You _can't_ be." Rachel's head shakes furiously, body trembling with shock. As she stands, swiping a hand through her hair, she scrutinizes his expression through squinted eyes, then mumbles something about having to go. He calls after her, but she's gone in a flurry of movement, leaving him feeling as though his heart's just been ripped out. Finn doesn't know what he was expecting, but certainly nothing like that – she completely freaked out, not even giving him a chance to explain himself. He stares at the door, begging for it to open again and Rachel to walk back in.

But she doesn't.

Nor does she return his calls or texts that night.

* * *

"She's got this insane idea in her head that you want to take James away from her," Kurt informs him the next day when he returns home, having already had a conversation with one frantic Rachel, "she's crazy anyway, but this must be quite a shock to her system – she never thought she'd meet his dad."

"I don't want to take him away from her," he says, slightly wounded. How could Rachel think that?

Kurt pats his shoulder sympathetically, "I know that, and rational Rachel Berry knows that. She just needs a few days to calm down, and I insisted to her that you want to make everything work out."

"Thanks dude. I appreciate it."

He smiles for real now. "I see the way you look at her, Finn. And you may both annoy the hell out of me, but you love each other." He lets out a long sigh, "you could have a son together, too. So if I need to tone down her crazy and make her see the truth, I'm always willing to do so."

Finn smiles gratefully; his brother really is awesome.

* * *

The next time he speaks to her, she insists that a DNA test is taken, and leaves him stood at her door, opening and closing his mouth like a fish.

All she leaves him with is, "just give me a little time to think, okay?"

He sighs, wondering exactly how much time she needs.

* * *

Just over a week later, she calls him while he's at work, and he knows before he's even answered that they have the results back. After agreeing to meet up at her apartment when his shift is over, he hangs up, suddenly feeling uneasy on his feet. Finn leans back against the wall, head spinning. In less than a few hours, he's going to know whether he's going to have a son or not...

Rachel is sombre as she opens the door, leaving Finn to observe her curiously. He wishes that he could read her mind, because she's using all acting skills she has right now to maintain a poker face, leaving him completely in the dark.

"Where's James?" asks Finn upon glancing around the empty apartment.

"At my friend's house." She clears her throat, eyes unsurely meeting his. It's like they don't even know how to act around each other any more, and all because of some stupid fight. If only everything could be back to normal again, to the small little family they had. Sure, at that point he hadn't even considered the fact that he could James' father but honestly, he hadn't cared either. He didn't need that to love the boy as his own.

He does love James, in the way that he wants to make him proud, to be someone for the young boy to aspire to be like, and he knows that this is the type of love that doesn't expire; he would literally go to the moon and back for that boy, he'd do anything for him.

Even if he isn't the father, that isn't going to change.

"Oh," he sits next to Rachel, so close that their shoulders brush. He expects her to pull away, annoyed by the contact when she is upset with him – she doesn't. Her fingers only tremble slightly as she holds onto the large envelope, eyes solely focused on it. Her chest heaves with a long breath, before she releases the air slowly. Finn can't help himself, his hand reaching for hers to give her some form of comfort in the nerve-wrecking moment. He needs that touch too, to calm down his erratic heart.

She slowly opens it, _painfully_ so. He's sure that he's about to have a heart attack right on the spot one second, though the next they're both frantically reading the results, his hand squeezing hers as he finally reaches the part that he cares about.

_Finn Hudson is _**_not excluded _**_as the biological father of James Berry._

His breath catches in his throat. Wait, does that mean...?

"You're his father," Rachel whispers out, voice devoid of everything but shock. Finn stares at the sentence, reading it over and over, and despite himself, a huge grin spreads onto his lips.

"I'm a dad."

She turns to look up at him, tears in her eyes. Not even thinking that they're not on the best of terms at the moment, he pulls her into his arms and presses a kiss to her forehead, heart throbbing even more happily so as she leans into him. And you know, this ought to be scary, terrifying. But he's so excited, so proud. He has a son, and an _amazing_ one at that. That's all thanks to the woman currently burrowing her head into his shirt, tears staining the material.

Rachel clutches at him, while he soothingly runs fingers through her soft hair. "Are you really that sad?" he suddenly comes down from his high, mood dampened by her waterworks. Okay, Rachel cries a lot and he's used to it, but this isn't the crying at a sad movie or because she accidentally killed a spider crying; this is the real, thick sobbing.

At some point she does pull back, face puffy and red. Then she does something that catches him completely off guard.

She kisses him.

Long and hard, the tears still fresh on her cheeks as her lips drag across his forcefully. And when she finally comes up for air, he's staring at her with a dumbfound expression. Finding out the results and _that_ in the space of five minutes has left him a little dizzy and light-headed. "I'm sorry for shouting at you," she chokes out, eyes flooding with tears yet again, "I was scared and acting stupid, because I didn't want to share him with anyone." She pauses for a moment to let out a shuddery breath, "and I thought the worst instantly, taking it out on you. I shouldn't have acted like that – I'm so, so sorry."

"Hey," he whispers, "stop apologizing. I understand, I really do. You've had him to yourself for over three years now."

"But I should have listened to what you had to say, even though it scared me," she drops her head against his shoulder, "I should have given you a chance."

"Rach, you did give me a chance. You got the test done, didn't you? You could have said no." Rachel remains silent at that, only the occasional sniffle the reminder that she's still there. "And it's not exactly like you could have ever anticipated this. I mean, I'm just the sperm donor, you were never supposed to meet me."

Rachel shakes her head, actually managing a smile. "You're not just the sperm donor Finn, you are so much more to me – to the both of us. Before we even knew about any of that, you... you were my boyfriend and you were part of our family. James loves you."

"And I love him," he closes his eyes, "so much. Just as much as a love you."

"I know," she says softly, "that's what scared me when you told me you thought you were his dad. For a brief second, I went all crazy and thought you'd want to take him away from me."

His chest spazzes at that very thought, a dull ache settling. "I would _never_ do that, Rach."

She laughs through her tears. "I know that. Of course I do." Her fingers gently cup his chin and she gives him a water smile, "but now I'm... I'm happy. Out of all the men out there, you are going to make the most amazing father."

"Wait, you mean...?"

"You're part of his life, Finn. You were before this test," she lifts up the envelope, "and before you had your suspicions. You were there for us and you made us so happy." She sighs, "I really want that back." Hearing that confession, he can't help that way his eyes fill with tears, because he misses that too, like a chunk of his heart has been ripped out and he won't be right again until it's back. Knowing that Rachel feels the same only makes his yearning for their family to be back together grow stronger.

But this time it's different.

This time they're actually going to be a family, a real family.

* * *

He watches her as she lies in bed, a serene smile on her face. He fingers gently caress the soft skin just below her breast, while she hums in contentment. "So," he breaks her from her momentary trance, "what happens now?"

"What do you mean?"

"With James?"

"Oh," she twists her body so that she's facing him completely, face thoughtful, "well, it won't be much change from what you were like with him before." She smiles, "you acted like a father anyway. I think the most important thing is being consistent with him, that includes discipline. He's normally well behaved, but like any three year old, he has his moments."

Finn suddenly gulps, "what if I do something wrong?"

"Do whatever feels natural. You're so good with him already, and he really does look up to you." She gently and soothingly rubs his arm up and down.

"This is crazy," he announces, to which she laughs.

"I know. Who would've thought that we'd have a kid together two years before we met each other?" Rachel shakes her head at the strange situation they've found themselves in, and adds, "when I picked your file, I did think that you sounded pretty cute. Looks like I was right."

He manages a grin at that, moving closer to brush his lips against her. Despite his worry over suddenly having so much responsibility, and the anxieties that that comes with, he feels hopeful about all of this. With Rachel by his side, he'll succeed, he knows it.

* * *

He manages to dodge another kid that whizzes by, then makes his way over to Rachel who is in the kitchen adding candles to the spider man cake. "Hey babe," he smiles, kissing her cheek. His eyes drink down to the cake, "looks good."

"My cousin baked it. She does all her own novelty cakes," she crows proudly, her eyes drifting to the living room, "everything okay in there?"

"A kid kicked me in the shin when I told him to get off the couch, but other than that they're good. I think the sugar high is finally wearing off," he announces, slightly relieved. Having to deal with so many kids isn't exactly something he'd imagined himself doing, but if he wants to show Rachel how serious he is about this whole situation, he's got to grit his teeth and bear with them all. And besides, James is having fun, so that's all that matter.

"Aww, are you okay?" She gives him a sympathetic pout, before lighting the four candles.

"I'll live," he grins. "Cake ready?"

Rachel nods enthusiastically, picking it up before gesturing for him to go first. He somehow manages to quieten down to hyperactive bunch of children, who all gather around the table as they sing happy birthday. James sits in front of the cake, basking in all the attention. His eyes rise to meet Rachel's, who watches proudly with tears in her eyes, and she clings tighter onto Finn's hand.

"Make a wish, baby," she tells him when the singing ends.

His face twists with thought, lips pursed. Finn laughs at the amount of thought he's putting into it – it must be a pretty important wish. But soon enough he's taking a big breath and blowing out the candles to the cheers of the people around him. For a moment, Finn is sure he looks up to him and smiles.

* * *

It's late when he gets back to Rachel's apartment, just as she's tucking James into bed. He gets excited to see him, so much that it takes an extra ten minutes to calm the boy so that he's sleepy once more. Finn smiles as he's drifted off, following Rachel to the living room where she practically pounces on him, lips stealing kisses. "Are you staying the night?" she asks, her hands finding their way under his t-shirt.

He nods, smiling at the feel of her soft lips against his, but he has something more important to tend to first. Then he's totally Rachel's for the night. "Rach," he mumbles, trying to gain her attention, though it falls on deaf ears as she continues to assault on his skin, her hands roaming. He deserves a medal for not carrying her to the bed right there and then, but he manages to push her back lightly, repeating her name.

"What is it?" she asks impatiently.

"When are we going to tell James about...you know?" She completely halts, craning her neck to stare up at him. It's been just a couple of weeks since they discovered the truth, and while things really are progressing well, they still haven't told James. They'd needed time to adjusting themselves, since Rachel's gone from being a single parent to having James' father in her life, something which she'd never anticipated.

She pulls under hands from his chest, leading them so that they're sat on the couch. "When do you think we should tell him?" she asks nervously.

"Well, I kind of want it to be soon. I mean, I love spending time with him and I get to do that anyway, but I think it'll just be better for everyone if it's out there. Kurt knows, and so does my mom, your dads... he'll find out eventually. I just hope that he's ready."

"He is," she smiles, "he loves you more than anything." Then a sigh follows, "I don't want to overwhelm him though. So we'll tell him, and just keep acting as we have been." He nods along to that; it's not like they're going to be making that many differences either. Finn stays over at Rachel's apartment more than his own these days, so James is used to seeing him around in the mornings, or having him over for dinner. Finn just hopes that his reaction is better than Rachel's.

* * *

They sit him down one afternoon after they'd been to the park together, James' cheeks still a little pink from running around so much. "Momma," he starts questioningly, looking from her to Finn and then back again.

"Finn and I have some pretty big news to tell you," she says, nerves filling her voice. He reaches for her hand, squeezing it tightly. She takes a deep breath, smiling when James slips into her arms. Combing her fingers through his hair, she picks out the right words to explain this to a four year old. "James, you know that for a baby to be born, there has to be a mommy and a daddy, right?"

He nods, "you said you don't know my daddy."

"And that was right," Rachel starts, "but recently I discovered who your daddy really is and I think it's important that you know." James grows excited at this, a large smile appearing on his face. Finn feels his heart swell at the adorable look.

"Who is it, momma?"

"Well," she draws out the word, eyes moving over to the man sat beside her, "your daddy is... Finn." The silence is overwhelming, both watching him slowly for any reaction from the boy. His hazel eyes meet Finn's identical ones, mouth dropping open in shock. He clearly doesn't know what to say, so Finn fills in the words for him, reaching over to hold his hand.

"I know that this must be quite a shock, but I'm going to do everything I can to be the best dad ever to you."

James grins happily, then says, "my wish worked!"

Both Finn and Rachel frown toward him, wearing matching expressions. "What?"

"On my birthday..." he explains, "I wished for Finn to be my dad." He says it so sweetly, so innocently that Finn feels a lump grow in his throat, knowing that James loves him in the same way that he loves that little boy. "And it came true!" he says in awe, looking up at Rachel giddily. She smiles toward Finn, while he inches closer and wraps his arm over her shoulder. Gently kissing her cheek, he pulls James closer to him so that the three can hug, all basking in the joy of the moment.

He guesses that fate just has a pretty funny way of working.

* * *

They're greeted with warm welcomes and hugs to his parents house, the street blanketed in fresh white snow. He smiles broadly as James stares up at the large Christmas tree with awe, the four year old's mouth hanging open. "So big," he whispers to nobody in particular.

Rachel laughs from where she's leaning against Finn, "Isn't it pretty, baby?"

"It's beautiful, momma. How come we've never done this before?" he looks to her seriously, bottom lip poking out slightly.

"Because I'm Jewish, hon," she explains. "And that means that I don't celebrate Christmas, but your daddy," Rachel pauses at that, the ghost of a smile on her lips, "does celebrate it and he really wants you - "

"Both of you," Finn corrects with a soft smile.

She returns it, fingers squeezing his hands, "_both_ of us to have a wonderful first Christmas with him, okay?" James nods giddily, bouncing up and down on his little feet.

"Will I get presents?" he squeals.

"Well, we'll just have to see if Santa thinks you've been a good enough boy this year."

"I have been! I _have_," he assures everyone, "right momma?"

With a small chuckle, she shrugs, "you'll just have to wait and see in the morning, won't you?" At his pout, Finn grins and lifts him into his arms.

"Daddy Finn," he says.

"Hmmm," Finn smiles at the questioning look from his mom, but he only shrugs it away. He's just happy that he's calling him that, even if the Finn has yet to be dropped. Still, it's pretty cute, and James sounds so sweet when he says it.

"What if Santa forgets about me?" he questions, genuinely worried. He's never done Christmas before, so he doesn't really know how Santa works, but Finn only smiles brighter and starts heading to the closet.

"That's what the sign is for."

James tries to peek down at the boxes he's looking through. "What sign?"

"One sec..." he mumbles, rooting further into the box, before, "ah hah!" He tugs out the red and white, "Santa, please stop here" sign, before passing it to James. "He won't miss that now, will he?" The boy shakes his head happily, wriggling to be out of Finn's arms.

"Can we put it up? Pleeeease. Pretty please."

"Let's be quick," he smiles, "it's starting to snow out there and we don't wanna turn into snowmen for being out too long." James eyes widen in wonder at that certain spot of knowledge, while Rachel sends Finn a disapproving look. He only shrugs, leading the boy out of the door.

Five minutes later, the sign is placed and he's rubbing his cold hands together. "How does it look, buddy?"

James smiles and nods proudly. "There's no way that Santa will miss that!" he bounces in barely contained joy, suddenly insisting that they stay outside so that he can test Finn's snowman theory, but he only shakes his head, insisting that they go back in. Inside, they find hot cocoa waiting and Christmas films on the large tv. He slips in beside Rachel, not surprised when James practically jumps onto both of their laps, spreading himself across. Finn gets a knee to the chest before he's lay down sleepily, his head lay against Rachel. It's not surprise really; between the early wake up call, plane ride and the blossoming excitement of a new holiday to celebrate, he must be tired.

He doesn't mind though. In these past few weeks he's realized that being a dad is all about putting your child first, no matter what. And it'd been surprisingly easy to adjust to that mantra, especially after seeing Rachel do it so effortlessly. In no way had he ever anticipated this, but he loves every second of being with his little family, the one that he somehow found his way to despite all the odds stacked against him.

* * *

**I hope you liked it :) It was going to be longer, but I stopped myself from getting carried away haha**

**Please review :)**


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